ABCs of Ballet

Is your toddler’s Tummy Time also a rehearsal for Swan Lake? Do you dream of them nailing a fouetté before they can form a full sentence? Welcome.

Other kids are learning to clap. Yours is perfecting their port de bras.

In a world of beige parenting and organic snacks, give your tiny prodigy the competitive edge they deserve with the "ABCs of Ballet." This isn't just a book; it's a statement. It says, "My child may not be potty trained, but they can identify a perfect fifth position from across the room." This lavishly illustrated primer is for parents who understand that the journey to Juilliard starts in the crib.

This Exquisite Alphabet of Ballet Features:
- 26 Essential Ballet Lessons: From the elegance of an Arabesque to the sheer drama of a Grand Jeté, each letter introduces a term that is crucial for their future as a tiny, demanding choreographer.
- Minimalist, Status-Signaling Design: Featuring muted blush and gold tones that subtly whisper, "we own a second home" and blend seamlessly with your impossibly curated nursery decor.
- Actually Educational (We Promise): Beneath the layers of satire, it's a genuinely beautiful alphabet book. They'll learn their ABCs while you chuckle into your overpriced oat milk latte.
- Hilarious Parent Notes: Sprinkled with witty asides and translations for the uninitiated adult, because let's be honest, this gift is for you.

Inside This Petite Primer for Prodigies:
- A is for Arabesque, the only acceptable way to reach for a cookie on the counter.
- G is for Grand Jeté, a dramatic leap performed over the family dog.
- P is for Pirouette, the official term for the spin cycle they do right before a tantrum.
- Q is for Quadrille, a complex dance they will now demand you perform to retrieve their pacifier.
- T is for Turnout, a foundational skill to be mastered before the age of two to avoid expensive physical therapy later.

The Perfect Gift For:
- Parents who refer to their toddler as their "tiny muse."
- The hyper-competitive mom at the "Music & Movement" class.
- Dance dads who know the difference between a fouetté and a frappé.
- Baby shower gifts that are secretly for the parents' amusement.
- Families who believe "on pointe" is a life philosophy, not just a ballet technique.
- Anyone who understands that a tutu is appropriate for all occasions, including naps.

What Discerning Parents Are Saying:
"She corrected my form during her bedtime story. She's 3." - Channing, Aspen
"He now refuses to enter a room without a proper révérence. He's 2." - Beatrice, Greenwich
"We had to replace the mobile over her crib with a tiny disco ball for 'rehearsals'. She's 18 months." - Sloane, Palm Beach

Warning: May cause unsolicited choreography critiques, demands for Evian in their sippy cup, referring to the nanny as "the corps de ballet," and relentless judgment of your posture.

Equip your child with the vocabulary they need to critique the local ballet company's holiday performance. After all, it's never too early to cultivate taste.