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Is your toddler's résumé looking a little... sparse? Are you worried they won't be able to network effectively at their preschool interviews? It's time to pop the cork on their potential.
Other kids are learning 'A is for Apple.' Yours is mastering 'A is for Appellation.'
Welcome to the absurdly elegant world of "ABCs of Champagne," the cornerstone of the "ABCs of Unnecessary Luxury" series. This is not just a book; it's a statement. It says, "My child may not have mastered solid foods, but they can certainly identify the tasting notes in a good Blanc de Blancs." We believe in preparing children for the finer things in life, like understanding the importance of terroir before they can even spell it.
This Bubbly Board Book Features:
- 26 Sparkling Lessons: From the chalky soils of Avize to the complexities of Zymology, ensure your little one is the toast of the playground.
- Minimalist Design: Chic, sophisticated illustrations in shades of Brut, Rosé, and Blanc de Noirs that perfectly complement your neutral-toned, Scandinavian-inspired nursery.
- Actually Educational: Believe it or not, amidst the satire and snobbery, your child will genuinely learn the alphabet. We're just sneaking it in between lessons on malolactic fermentation.
- Parent Pairing Notes: Each page includes a witty "Parent Pairing Note" for your own educational journey while your toddler is busy tracing the letters.
Inside This Effervescent Education:
- B is for Brut: The driest humor for the driest Champagne.
- C is for Cuvée: Because 'juice blend' is so terribly common.
- G is for Grand Cru: The only geography lesson that truly matters.
- M is for Magnum: The perfect bottle size for a sophisticated playdate.
- V is for Vintage: Learning that age is just a number... on a very expensive bottle.
The Perfect Gift For:
- Parents who pair their bedtime stories with a good Bordeaux.
- Baby showers where the gift registry includes a wine fridge.
- Sommeliers-in-training (the parents, not the kids... probably).
- Anyone who believes 'terroir' is a valid topic for a two-year-old.
- Your friend who Instagrams their baby wearing a tiny ascot.
- Connoisseurs of comedy, Chardonnay, and child-rearing.
What Discerning Parents Are Saying:
"He corrected my pronunciation of 'Veuve Clicquot'. He's two." - Beatrice, The Hamptons
"She now refuses apple juice, demanding 'something with more minerality and a finer mousse.' She's 3." - Sterling, Napa Valley
"My son insists his bath bubbles have a 'persistent perlage'. He's 4." - Kensington, London
Warning: May cause spontaneous swirling of milk, an encyclopedic knowledge of French wine regions, requests for a 'vertical tasting' of their juice boxes, and profound disappointment in non-vintage applesauce.
Beyond the bubbles and barbs, this book is a genuinely fun way to learn the alphabet, with charming illustrations that will delight children and adults who refuse to accept that their lives have changed.
Part of the "ABCs of Unnecessary Luxury" series.
@poshtotspress
ABCs of Champagne
Teaching Toddlers Terroir Before They Can Tie Their Shoes
£19.99
Other kids are learning 'A is for Apple.' Yours is mastering 'A is for Appellation.'
Welcome to the absurdly elegant world of "ABCs of Champagne," the cornerstone of the "ABCs of Unnecessary Luxury" series. This is not just a book; it's a statement. It says, "My child may not have mastered solid foods, but they can certainly identify the tasting notes in a good Blanc de Blancs." We believe in preparing children for the finer things in life, like understanding the importance of terroir before they can even spell it.
This Bubbly Board Book Features:
- 26 Sparkling Lessons: From the chalky soils of Avize to the complexities of Zymology, ensure your little one is the toast of the playground.
- Minimalist Design: Chic, sophisticated illustrations in shades of Brut, Rosé, and Blanc de Noirs that perfectly complement your neutral-toned, Scandinavian-inspired nursery.
- Actually Educational: Believe it or not, amidst the satire and snobbery, your child will genuinely learn the alphabet. We're just sneaking it in between lessons on malolactic fermentation.
- Parent Pairing Notes: Each page includes a witty "Parent Pairing Note" for your own educational journey while your toddler is busy tracing the letters.
Inside This Effervescent Education:
- B is for Brut: The driest humor for the driest Champagne.
- C is for Cuvée: Because 'juice blend' is so terribly common.
- G is for Grand Cru: The only geography lesson that truly matters.
- M is for Magnum: The perfect bottle size for a sophisticated playdate.
- V is for Vintage: Learning that age is just a number... on a very expensive bottle.
The Perfect Gift For:
- Parents who pair their bedtime stories with a good Bordeaux.
- Baby showers where the gift registry includes a wine fridge.
- Sommeliers-in-training (the parents, not the kids... probably).
- Anyone who believes 'terroir' is a valid topic for a two-year-old.
- Your friend who Instagrams their baby wearing a tiny ascot.
- Connoisseurs of comedy, Chardonnay, and child-rearing.
What Discerning Parents Are Saying:
"He corrected my pronunciation of 'Veuve Clicquot'. He's two." - Beatrice, The Hamptons
"She now refuses apple juice, demanding 'something with more minerality and a finer mousse.' She's 3." - Sterling, Napa Valley
"My son insists his bath bubbles have a 'persistent perlage'. He's 4." - Kensington, London
Warning: May cause spontaneous swirling of milk, an encyclopedic knowledge of French wine regions, requests for a 'vertical tasting' of their juice boxes, and profound disappointment in non-vintage applesauce.
Beyond the bubbles and barbs, this book is a genuinely fun way to learn the alphabet, with charming illustrations that will delight children and adults who refuse to accept that their lives have changed.
Part of the "ABCs of Unnecessary Luxury" series.
@poshtotspress