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Is your toddler's future success keeping you up at night? Of course it is.
Other kids are learning 'A is for Apple'. Yours is mastering 'A is for Après-Ski'.
In a world of competitive parenting, giving your child a head start isn't just an advantage—it's a necessity. Why wait for them to learn the basics like walking or talking when you can instill the far more critical vocabulary of a seasoned ski enthusiast? The ABCs of Skiing is more than a book; it's an investment in your child's future social standing, ensuring they're as comfortable in a Deer Valley chalet as they are in their own crib. Don't just raise a child, raise a tiny, discerning connoisseur of the slopes who can differentiate between Courchevel and Chamonix before they can even spell their own name.
This ABCs of Skiing Features:
- 26 Advanced Skiing Lessons: From the essentials (Avalanche Beacon) to the esoteric (Zermatt), prepare your prodigy for a life of perfectly powdered privilege.
- Minimalist, Status-Signaling Design: Muted, artisanal colors and clean typography that subtly whisper, "We don't get our gear from a rental shop."
- Actually Educational (We Swear): Yes, amidst the satire, they will genuinely learn the alphabet. We consider it a delightful side effect.
- Parent-Specific Humor: Filled with hidden jokes and knowing winks for the sleep-deprived grown-up reading it for the 17th time tonight.
Inside This Posh Tot's Guide to the Slopes:
- A is for Après-Ski: Because the post-slope socializing is more important than the skiing itself.
- B is for Black Diamond: What other children might refer to as a 'scary no-no hill'.
- C is for Chalet: Not to be confused with a 'cabin' or 'lodge'. Please.
- G is for Gstaad: Their first multi-syllabic word, and a crucial one at that.
- V is for Verbier: Where they'll learn that 'paparazzi' is just a normal part of the winter experience.
The Perfect Gift For:
- Parents who consider Aspen a 'charmingly rustic suburb'.
- Couples whose origin story involves a stuck chairlift.
- Anyone who has ever unironically described skiing as "more of a lifestyle, really."
- Expectant parents meticulously designing a "ski-in/ski-out" themed nursery.
- Grandparents competing for 'favorite' status with increasingly lavish gifts.
- That one uncle who insists on wearing his ski boots to Christmas dinner.
What Over-Achieving Parents Are Saying:
"He pointed at a snowdrift and whispered 'Champagne powder'. He's 2." - Channing, Park City
"She now refuses any juice that isn't 'mulled'. It's both adorable and terrifying. 18 months." - Beatrice, Jackson Hole
"Our son used the word 'mogul' in a sentence before he used the word 'more'. We're so proud. 3." - Sterling, Vail
Warning: May cause an insatiable craving for fondue, a tendency to judge other toddlers' outerwear, referring to the sandbox as 'the bunny slope', and demanding a 'hot toddy' (warm milk) after bath time.
Beneath the satire, it's a beautifully designed, genuinely effective alphabet book that makes learning fun for both parent and child.
Part of the "ABCs of Unnecessary Luxury" series.
@poshtotspress
ABCs of Skiing
Teaching Toddlers Après-Ski Before They Can Walk
£19.99
Other kids are learning 'A is for Apple'. Yours is mastering 'A is for Après-Ski'.
In a world of competitive parenting, giving your child a head start isn't just an advantage—it's a necessity. Why wait for them to learn the basics like walking or talking when you can instill the far more critical vocabulary of a seasoned ski enthusiast? The ABCs of Skiing is more than a book; it's an investment in your child's future social standing, ensuring they're as comfortable in a Deer Valley chalet as they are in their own crib. Don't just raise a child, raise a tiny, discerning connoisseur of the slopes who can differentiate between Courchevel and Chamonix before they can even spell their own name.
This ABCs of Skiing Features:
- 26 Advanced Skiing Lessons: From the essentials (Avalanche Beacon) to the esoteric (Zermatt), prepare your prodigy for a life of perfectly powdered privilege.
- Minimalist, Status-Signaling Design: Muted, artisanal colors and clean typography that subtly whisper, "We don't get our gear from a rental shop."
- Actually Educational (We Swear): Yes, amidst the satire, they will genuinely learn the alphabet. We consider it a delightful side effect.
- Parent-Specific Humor: Filled with hidden jokes and knowing winks for the sleep-deprived grown-up reading it for the 17th time tonight.
Inside This Posh Tot's Guide to the Slopes:
- A is for Après-Ski: Because the post-slope socializing is more important than the skiing itself.
- B is for Black Diamond: What other children might refer to as a 'scary no-no hill'.
- C is for Chalet: Not to be confused with a 'cabin' or 'lodge'. Please.
- G is for Gstaad: Their first multi-syllabic word, and a crucial one at that.
- V is for Verbier: Where they'll learn that 'paparazzi' is just a normal part of the winter experience.
The Perfect Gift For:
- Parents who consider Aspen a 'charmingly rustic suburb'.
- Couples whose origin story involves a stuck chairlift.
- Anyone who has ever unironically described skiing as "more of a lifestyle, really."
- Expectant parents meticulously designing a "ski-in/ski-out" themed nursery.
- Grandparents competing for 'favorite' status with increasingly lavish gifts.
- That one uncle who insists on wearing his ski boots to Christmas dinner.
What Over-Achieving Parents Are Saying:
"He pointed at a snowdrift and whispered 'Champagne powder'. He's 2." - Channing, Park City
"She now refuses any juice that isn't 'mulled'. It's both adorable and terrifying. 18 months." - Beatrice, Jackson Hole
"Our son used the word 'mogul' in a sentence before he used the word 'more'. We're so proud. 3." - Sterling, Vail
Warning: May cause an insatiable craving for fondue, a tendency to judge other toddlers' outerwear, referring to the sandbox as 'the bunny slope', and demanding a 'hot toddy' (warm milk) after bath time.
Beneath the satire, it's a beautifully designed, genuinely effective alphabet book that makes learning fun for both parent and child.
Part of the "ABCs of Unnecessary Luxury" series.
@poshtotspress