ABCs of Tennis

Luxury ABC Book for Affluent Families

Is your toddler's future success keeping you up at night? Are you already planning their Grand Slam acceptance speech while they're still mastering object permanence? Welcome to the club. The private, members-only club.

Other kids are learning to clap. Yours is developing a killer backhand.

In the hyper-competitive world of parenting, we believe it's never too early to give your child a competitive advantage. Forget silly farm animals and basic shapes. The Posh Tots Press introduces the "ABCs of Tennis," the definitive guide for the discerning toddler destined for greatness. This isn't just a book; it's the first step towards a lifetime of perfectly executed serves, lucrative endorsements, and summers in the Hamptons.

This Grand Slam Primer Features:
- 26 Essential Tennis Lessons: From "Advantage" (the only acceptable outcome) to "Zero" (which, darling, we call "Love"), ensure your prodigy's vocabulary is as refined as their grip.
- Minimalist Design: Crisp, Wimbledon-white pages with grass-court green accents that perfectly complement your minimalist, architect-designed nursery. It whispers "old money," it doesn't scream it.
- Actually Educational: Amidst the satire, your little one will genuinely learn their ABCs, making this the most productive tummy time accessory on the market.
- Parent Notes: Witty asides for the sleep-deprived parent who appreciates a good double entendre more than a double fault.

Inside This Little Book of Backhands:
- A is for Advantage: The only score that matters.
- D is for Deuce: A stressful situation we prefer to avoid.
- G is for Grunt: A perfectly acceptable form of self-expression on and off the court.
- Q is for Qualifying: Something other people's children have to do.
- V is for Volley: A brisk, decisive exchange, much like negotiating your nanny's contract.

Perfect Gift For:
- Parents who schedule playdates with a D1 college scout.
- Couples who believe "athleisure" is a personality trait.
- Anyone who has ever uttered the phrase, "It's never too early to start planning."
- Baby showers where the gift registry includes a trust fund.
- Future tennis pros currently in the womb.
- Your friend who just installed a private clay court in their backyard.

What Over-Achieving Parents Are Saying:
"He hasn’t said 'mama' yet, but he just corrected my serving form. He's 18 months old." - Binky, The Hamptons
"We had to get a second copy because our daughter, Wimbledon, kept chewing on the first. She has taste." - Chad, Palm Beach
"Finally, a book that understands our family's core values: aggressive net play and early admission." - Muffy, Greenwich

Warning: May cause spontaneous grunting, a sudden obsession with crisp white onesies, attempts to volley peas, and a deep-seated disdain for pickleball.

Give your child the gift of literacy and a ludicrously early start on their athletic career. Because if they're not training, they're losing.

Part of the "ABCs of Unnecessary Luxury" series.

@poshtotspress

What Makes This Special:

• Museum-quality illustrations
• Premium printing on luxury paper
• Educational content for children 2-5 years
• Sophisticated design parents will love
• Perfect for upscale nurseries and playrooms

Specifications:

• 26 beautifully illustrated pages
• 8.5" x 8.5" square format
• Premium color printing
• Durable hardcover binding