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Is your toddler’s financial portfolio more robust than their vocabulary? Does your stroller cost more than a used car? Welcome.
Other kids are learning colors and shapes. Yours is learning the difference between a capital gain and a dividend.
It’s never too early to teach the important things in life, like how to properly structure a holding company or the importance of a well-funded trust. The "ABCs of Trust Funds" is the world’s first (and probably only) satirical alphabet primer designed to give your precious angel a head start on the corner office. Forget "A is for Apple." In this world, "A" is for Asset Allocation, because you can’t eat an apple if you haven’t properly diversified your orchard holdings.
This Early Inheritance Edition Features:
- 26 Essential Wealth Lessons: From Angel Investors to Zero-Coupon Bonds, give your child the vocabulary they need to intimidate their preschool peers.
- Minimalist, Status-Signaling Design: A palette of tasteful, tax-bracket-appropriate neutrals that won’t clash with your Scandinavian nursery decor or your au pair’s sense of existential dread.
- Actually Educational (We Swear): Amidst the jokes about offshore accounts, your little one will genuinely learn their letters. We consider it a value-add.
- Hilarious Parent Notes: Sprinkled throughout are witty asides and definitions written exclusively for the sleep-deprived, financially-savvy adult reading the book.
Inside This Toddler's First Ledger:
- A is for Asset Allocation: Because putting all your blocks in one basket is just poor planning.
- D is for Dividends: The quarterly allowance you don't have to beg for.
- H is for Hedge Fund: A magical place where money goes to play hide-and-seek.
- I is for Inheritance: The ultimate family heirloom.
- V is for Venture Capital: Other people's money, the best kind of money.
The Perfect Gift For:
- Finance-obsessed parents who check their stock portfolio during diaper changes.
- Baby showers where the gifts include stock certificates.
- Toddlers who have a more impressive LinkedIn profile than you do.
- Parents who summer in the Hamptons and winter in Aspen.
- Anyone who appreciates a good-natured laugh about the absurdity of generational wealth.
- Your friend who unironically named their child "Cash."
What Financially Savvy Parents Are Saying:
"He just pointed at a yacht and said 'liquid asset'. He's 2." - Tiffany, Greenwich, CT
"She now refuses to play with dolls that don't have a diversified portfolio. It's a problem." - Chad, Palo Alto, CA
"My son's first words were 'capital gains'. We're so proud." - Buffy, Vail, CO
Warning: May cause toddlers to demand stock options instead of cookies, attempt to unionize their playgroup, refer to their allowance as "seed funding," and ask for a golden parachute from timeout.
Beneath the satire, this is a beautifully designed, high-quality alphabet book that makes learning letters genuinely fun for both parent and child. It’s a joke, but it’s also a great book.
Part of the "ABCs of Unnecessary Luxury" series.
@poshtotspress
ABCs of Trust Funds
Teaching Toddlers Wealth Management Before They Can Walk
£19.99
Other kids are learning colors and shapes. Yours is learning the difference between a capital gain and a dividend.
It’s never too early to teach the important things in life, like how to properly structure a holding company or the importance of a well-funded trust. The "ABCs of Trust Funds" is the world’s first (and probably only) satirical alphabet primer designed to give your precious angel a head start on the corner office. Forget "A is for Apple." In this world, "A" is for Asset Allocation, because you can’t eat an apple if you haven’t properly diversified your orchard holdings.
This Early Inheritance Edition Features:
- 26 Essential Wealth Lessons: From Angel Investors to Zero-Coupon Bonds, give your child the vocabulary they need to intimidate their preschool peers.
- Minimalist, Status-Signaling Design: A palette of tasteful, tax-bracket-appropriate neutrals that won’t clash with your Scandinavian nursery decor or your au pair’s sense of existential dread.
- Actually Educational (We Swear): Amidst the jokes about offshore accounts, your little one will genuinely learn their letters. We consider it a value-add.
- Hilarious Parent Notes: Sprinkled throughout are witty asides and definitions written exclusively for the sleep-deprived, financially-savvy adult reading the book.
Inside This Toddler's First Ledger:
- A is for Asset Allocation: Because putting all your blocks in one basket is just poor planning.
- D is for Dividends: The quarterly allowance you don't have to beg for.
- H is for Hedge Fund: A magical place where money goes to play hide-and-seek.
- I is for Inheritance: The ultimate family heirloom.
- V is for Venture Capital: Other people's money, the best kind of money.
The Perfect Gift For:
- Finance-obsessed parents who check their stock portfolio during diaper changes.
- Baby showers where the gifts include stock certificates.
- Toddlers who have a more impressive LinkedIn profile than you do.
- Parents who summer in the Hamptons and winter in Aspen.
- Anyone who appreciates a good-natured laugh about the absurdity of generational wealth.
- Your friend who unironically named their child "Cash."
What Financially Savvy Parents Are Saying:
"He just pointed at a yacht and said 'liquid asset'. He's 2." - Tiffany, Greenwich, CT
"She now refuses to play with dolls that don't have a diversified portfolio. It's a problem." - Chad, Palo Alto, CA
"My son's first words were 'capital gains'. We're so proud." - Buffy, Vail, CO
Warning: May cause toddlers to demand stock options instead of cookies, attempt to unionize their playgroup, refer to their allowance as "seed funding," and ask for a golden parachute from timeout.
Beneath the satire, this is a beautifully designed, high-quality alphabet book that makes learning letters genuinely fun for both parent and child. It’s a joke, but it’s also a great book.
Part of the "ABCs of Unnecessary Luxury" series.
@poshtotspress